Tiny Dancing - Issue 4 (Not Real Version)

I am built for heat. Anyone who knows me knows that I am built for heat. But even then on a day such as this, when weather forecasters have to look up what we call it when temperatures get above twenty-nine degrees (start at 'thirty' chaps, and work your way up from there), I have made some classic errors.

Firstly, I've started watching a new television series that is rather good, and have powered through the first four episodes without as much as mopping my brow with a moist wipe. Answers on a postcard as to what that series might be. And that's not a trick question.

Secondly, I've decided to make a curry, so I can use up the chicken that's in the fridge. It was on it's sell by date and was possibly smelling the wrong side of keen, but I'm arsed if I'm going round the shops again. I've get six more episodes to go, and no time to waste.

And as they say, these things come in threes - so to fall in with that I've decided to hoist the non-touch version of Tiny Dancing Issue 4 up the futureweb flagpole for all to see for miles around, along with the first instalment of the Tiny Dancing Audio Library, which of course came free with the please-touch version - the ever mysteriously titled (not really) 'Journeys'. This is of course the most opportune of timings, because no doubt everyone is indoors this evening squinting at a laptop screen and trying not to splash rogan josh over the keyboard, primed to receive such an offering. Just like me.

So here you go, you little culture vultures - stop your circling and start your... downloading. Got away from me at the end there.


Tiny Dancing - Issue 4 (Not Real Version)

Tiny Dancing Audio Library - Volume 1 - Journeys

Tiny Dancing - Issue 4 (Real Version)

What's that? Tiny Dancing Issue 4 is here? Just in time for the yueltide? Oh, thank the Jesu child! And merry Christmas, everyone!

That is correct - with the festive season bearing down on us like an overly large child stuffed to the gills with Guylians, Issue 4 has landed in our metaphorical stocking for your enjoyment in between the eating and the drinking and the feeling slightly gippy. Better than a walnut, and a on a par with a satsuma. Which might possibly be our new tagline.

So what does this most... frosty of issues bring? Wonders we tell you, wonders (in a convenient bullet pointed format):

- a colour cover (magic)!
- 36 pages of joy (voluminous)!
- a compact disc entitled Tiny Dancing Audio Library Vol. 1 (enigmatic)!

But wait - who are the wise men, women and others who have come to present gifts on this night? Why, none other than Megan Ancliffe, Laura Coxeter, Michael Gosden, H.B., Steven Horry, Ricky Miller, Joe Morris, Rebecca Strickson and David White - truly, we are blessed.

So - enough of this mincing under the mistletoe, let us get down to business. Due to the sheer size and colour and free sound you're getting with this one, Issue 4 costs a princely two pounds. It's very much worth it though - of that we are CONFIDENT. And how can you make this Christmas the very best one since you got things you really wanted and not just a multi-pack of Primark pants and/or knickers? Take your pick, my beauties:

1 - The Paypal - it's a thing that works with made up money


THE AVERY HILL PUBLISHING SHOP!

2 - Send me two one pound coins, a ten pence and a twenty pence stuck to a bit of card with your address on to:

Tiny Dancing
12c The Gardens
East Dulwich
London
SE22 9QD

A copy will be dispatched forthwith. As long as the Royal Mail doesn't grind to a halt because they've got a few more letters to deliver of course, I don't know...

3 - Hunt me down like a Christmas turkey, DON'T throttle me, but DO give me two pounds in denominations of your choosing, and I will give you what you are wanting. I won't play hard to get. Haven't got the moves anymore...

And before we go, does anyone remember David Bowie doing the introduction to The Snowman? I bloody didn't.